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where are the brooms? - The Dark Lord [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lord Voldemort

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where are the brooms? [Jun. 25th, 2006|10:33 am]
Lord Voldemort


[Current Location |watching this "World Cup" sans proper Quidditch equipment]
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

Minions, I hereby order you to investigate what this Muggle World Cup is about! I do not understand it at all. Where are the brooms? and the Golden Snitch?! I understand their inability to fly our brooms, but why are they running around kicking a bludger??? And why does it not kick back?! This "game" makes no sense. Although, I must say I do like the injuries, pain, and blood I've seen at times! Look at my icon! Is it not clever?! Yet, the players are punished for hurting one another?? Unacceptable. I hereby order you to find the ministers of this FIFA ('feefaa' ... I mean really! These Muggles must learn to come up more intimidating names!) and convince them (::wink::) to make their referees hand out those silly cards to players behaving well instead! *taps chin* I wonder ... do any of you think these Muggles might make competent Death Eaters? They may not be able to use magic, but we may still be able to use them. What say you, Severus? Lucius?

[User Picture]From: mauvaise_etoile
2006-06-25 06:20 pm (UTC)
My Dark Lord,

Muggles? Use Muggles as Death Eaters? Are you mad?! Have you gone completely round the twist? You know, sir, I normally would not speak to you like thus, however I feel this moment warrants it. While I may be locked in Azkaban, I do not condone the use of Muggles *makes vomity face* in my stead.

Is our cause depleting to those levels? First the pointy hats and now this? Ugh. I sincerely hope that this is some cruel joke you are playing on us to keep us on our toes.

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[User Picture]From: plumapen
2006-06-26 03:26 am (UTC)
Now, now, Lucius. I am not thinking of making them equals, but if they could only be persuaded to come along with us, think of the fun we might have. We could always dress them up in tutus and let them play this faux Quidditch; we wouldn't even need to exert ourselves for an Avada Kedavra! .... Oh damn, I just killed my ficus tree. Lucius, see what your missishness has made me do! It was really starting to take root and form up. Narcissa brought it over at the Valentine's ditty I threw, if you recall. ... Oh, wait, that's right. You weren't here.

Now, Lucius, I want answers to this Muggle game business! Is there nothing you can do? And don't give me this snivelling, I'm locked away in Azkaban bit--that's no excuse! Now, what are you going to do about it??
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[User Picture]From: mauvaise_etoile
2006-06-26 06:49 pm (UTC)

Right, My Dark Lord, I'm on it. I'm writing to that worthless Wormtail that you insist on keeping around to make him go investigate this wannabe Quidditch malarcky. He probably knows something about it anyway since I'm convinced that he's at least a halfblood. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Sir.

Oh, I'll have him pick you up a new ficus tree too, whatever that is. What is Narcissa doing buying you Muggle plants anyway? She should've brought you a snipping of my prized Fanged Geranium; it won First Prize at the Herbology fair last year.

I'm still not sold on having Muggles anywhere near us though...


PS, *I* was ROFL at this: Oh damn, I just killed my ficus tree.!!!
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[User Picture]From: mauvaise_etoile
2006-06-26 06:53 pm (UTC)
Wormtail -

Get your stupid arse out of Snape's closet and go find out everything you can about some Muggle sport that's like Quidditch. I assume they don't fly though as Muggles are idiots and couldn't fly a broom if their lives depended on it. Report back to me when you've got information as I have to tell the Dark Lord. I'd do it myself, but I'm obviously not in a position to do so.

Also, find a ficus tree and hand deliver it to the Dark Lord's place. I hope you remember the address. Stop by Malfoy Manor and select a snipping off my Fanged Geranium. Narcissa will assist you. That needs to be delivered with the ficus. Do warn the Dark Lord not to AK it though, as I forgot to mention it to him. It might AK back as it's teeth can ricochet things.

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